My deep dark secret…Crawling out of the deep dark closet of depression.

 

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Unfortunately I can tell you first hand the ways that depression has invaded my life which in return invades the lives of my family and friends.

Depression sneaks up on you slowly and slyly until one day you realize everything is turned upside-down and backwards. There I sit with a muddy mind and confused emotions while the rest of the world around me seems to be moving at a normal pace. I tell myself to shake it off, straighten up, you can do this. But as much as I want me to be me, I am unable to surface.

I don’t want people to know that I am struggling with depression. I am fortunate that there are no deep dark secrets of the past or present in my life as depression triggers. I am loved and cared for and I am able to love a care for others. So why does this ugly monster move in and rear its ugly head at the most inappropriate times?

Depression makes me feel like a selfish person. No matter how much effort I put into trying to overcome the effects the depression lingers. I feel frustrated and trapped inside a deep dark cage with no escape in site.

You cannot understand depression unless you have experienced depression. People with depression are misunderstood because they do not have the ability to express themselves in their truly normal state. The depression gets in the way. I’ve told my husband, my daughters, and close friends that it’s easy to see how depression can wreck a marriage, a job, and relationships when depression is misunderstood by others. I am so thankful to have loving and understanding people surrounding me and supporting me through the difficult times.

Our doctor wisely pointed out the fact that since I am a believer in God and strive to live my life in that manner that my struggle with depression will also be a way of sharing with others who may be struggling with depression or know someone struggling with depression. So here I am sharing a bit of my story with you.

Depression can be caused by a so many different things and the treatments vary. If you are struggling with depression seek help from a professional.

I do believe that “life is good” and I am thankful for each and every day. Today the sun is shining brightly and I know this is the day to “shed some light” on my little secret.

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This morning as we were saying good-bye to the hill. 28 degrees and sunny and lots of critters.

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